Hi Chris,
I really don’t want to get married! But I’m coming under huge pressure from my family and my married friends! Is wanting to remain single such a bad idea?
Under Pressure
Chris says,
Hi Under Pressure!
Marriage does have some legal benefits, and married couples generally live longer lives and have better health than singles. But being unmarried has it’s benefits too, and they’re increasing.
So nowadays people are spending more of their lives alone, or simply living together rather than marrying. And the whole basis for marriage is shifting, as we focus more of our lives on education and work.
But why? Mostly it’s because highly educated women are choosing to become mothers later and to work outside the family. Marriage also used to be something everyone did, but now it isn’t. So the social pressure to marry is diminishing. And everywhere couples are tending to live together before they marry. Which makes many of them wonder why they don’t just carry on like that?
Many do. They’re committed to one another, organise their finances and plan their whole lives together, but don’t like the traditions and legality of a marriage. So only something like a big change in the taxation rules in favour of marriage, for example, is likely to change their minds.
Which makes you part of a worldwide trend, towards a less-married society!
In any case, we couldn’t return to a world of universal marriage, even if we wanted to. Because the economy and culture that created it is fading away. And both men and women value the greater choices they have now, such as whether to marry, who to marry, and what kind of family they want to build together.
And yet when we look at what really make us happy in life, it’s our relationships, especially the one with our spouse. And traditional marriage still symbolises the core values of a relationship, such as trust, purpose and stability. Which is why your family is pressuring you!
But it remains your personal decision to choose what feels best for you.
All the best,
Chris
