A parody of dunces in the energy sector

I have always regarded Energy Cabinet Secretary Opiyo Wandayi as a generally dour character. He rarely smiles, even when the occasion demands it. When he is addressing a crowd, you can sense an underlying angst.

On Monday, when he held that press conference with matatu fellows, had he been wearing a long dark coat and a top hat, he would have passed for a funeral director. His appearance was like that of someone who has never smiled. At the tail end of the presser, he looked ready to flee the room, such was the discomfort.

Come Tuesday, and his entire demeanour had taken a turn. For the better. He was wearing a permanent grin that would have put a Cheshire cat to shame.

He had a look of satisfaction that he couldn’t hide even if he tried, the smugness enveloping his face leaving no doubt that he had scored a victory of sorts against the matatu chaps, nay, against the nation.

I don’t know what happened behind closed doors during the said negotiations, but we can only come to one of two conclusions: either the government officials led by Wandayi are exceptionally talented in negotiating, or some people were compromised. I am inclined to believe the latter.

When I saw that gap-toothed fellow speak out on Monday, contradicting the CS live on air, it gladdened my heart. I thought to myself: here is a national leader in the making, someone we can follow on the proverbial road to Canaan. His diction might be a bit suspect, but he seems to have conviction, something most of our leaders have a deficit of.

He spoke with conviction and could barely contain his anger that the government was announcing a compromise ending the street demos, when the reality could not have been further from the truth. “The strike is still on,” he shouted through his missing tooth, clenched fist in the air. Somehow, the fellow and his merry band saw the light overnight.

Saul had become Paul by mid-morning. They were now addressing the media with such gusto, calling off the strike with immediate effect, and promising to work with the government because they had been treated very well. Well, your guess is as good as mine as to how ‘well’ they were treated, but I am sure it was not just pleasantries that were exchanged. 

A friend joked that the more cantankerous of the matatu fellows was raising his voice during the press conference so that he could push his ‘price’ up. It is a well-known negotiation tactic. Take a very hard stance and appear set in your ways, but leave enough room for negotiating. Make a few concessions, and everybody appears happy.

Only that, in this case, there were no concessions. It was a closed-door deal whose details remained behind those doors. What I am sure of is that whatever happened in that office appears to have worked quite well, given the broad smiles that characterised their faces the next day.

The government generally takes the citizenry for dunces. This is a fact. Reducing diesel by ten shillings was certainly factored into the initial hike. That I can guarantee you.

The government knew there would be a general hue and cry, and in the goodness of the hearts of Wandayi and his people, they would then announce a price reduction, and we would all go back to the streets, this time singing the government’s praises for saving us from high prices.

It’s tantamount to a pickpocket picking your pocket and throwing ten shillings back at you for fare. The destruction and loss of lives that took place over two days just so that some fellows can enrich themselves need not have taken place. It was a total waste of time.

We all know that the government has deliberately kept kerosene prices low to tackle adulteration. For the same government to somehow get a lightbulb moment and keep kerosene prices down, they are telling us that now the hoodlums can keep themselves busy, or, in the alternative, that they are playing sleight of hand.

-The writer is a communications consultant