Let's stop domestic conflicts turning into child murder
Opinion
By
Sheila Van de Graaph
| Dec 06, 2025
Two months ago, a woman in Murang’a County stabbed to death two of her children and left the third one in critical condition before surrendering herself to the police. Reports indicated she committed the heinous act after a quarrel with her husband.
Earlier in the year, a police officer in Homa Bay County murdered his two children and a nephew before committing suicide. The officer reportedly had a long-running marital conflict with his wife.
The two incidents are part of an unfolding pattern of domestic violence cases where children end up as collateral victims, caught in the crossfire of love gone sour. Week after week, we are waking up to headlines of children killed by their parents as a result of troubled marriages.
Sadly, it is not just a Kenyan problem. The World Health Organisation lists sub-Saharan Africa as one of the regions with the highest cases of child murders, also known as filicide, at home. In the US, Colorado recorded an all-time high number of child deaths as a result of domestic violence incidents in 2024. Eight children died in addition to 72 adults murdered in domestic disputes. The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crimes (UNODC) estimates that over one billion children experience physical, or sexual abuse at home. Studies have singled out pre-existing patterns of domestic violence as the major predictor of child killings at home.
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When we hear of a parent who killed their child, public rage runs high, and we all want immediate punishment. The problem is that by the time we get justice, another tragedy occurs. This means the law alone is not enough. If we want to stop the killing of our children, solutions must begin before the crime happens.
In almost every case of filicide, there are warning signs. Nearly every witness account by neighbours or relatives normally cites prolonged conflicts and instances of violence. Under the mantra of ndoa ni kuvumiliana, we continue to feed a culture that trivialises violence at home until things turn fatal.
On a national scale, the problem compounds as many cases of domestic violence go unreported or, worse, are dismissed when reported. Not once have victims been turned away at police stations with advice to “go home and sort out the issues” or “we cannot do anything until there is proof of harm”. Threats and intent of harm receive little attention from the law.
The judicial process also has its limits. Kenya’s legal framework treats child killing as another form of homicide, punishable by life imprisonment. While there is nothing wrong with accountability, justice without nuance treats symptoms, not the real problem.
To deal with this problem, we should focus more on preventive measures. We need community programmes that equip faith leaders, teachers, law enforcers, public servants, and health workers with skills to identify and respond to early signs of domestic conflict.
Some filicide cases happen during custody litigation, which is usually a high-risk period for families experiencing domestic violence.
Most importantly, we must invest in data and a policy framework. A national database on filicide and domestic crimes will help us identify patterns to track the effectiveness of mitigation efforts and design evidence-based prevention strategies. We can borrow policy frameworks from countries like Canada, Australia, and parts of Scandinavia, to save lives before headlines are written.
The writer is Executive Director of US-based YouthRoots.