Ruto's state house hits 'first world' status as rest of country floods
Opinion
By
Peter Kimani
| Apr 24, 2026
Fun-fact: Prezzo Bill Ruto, the quintessential hustler whose mission was to curb government wastage and lift the underclass, has spent in three years what his predecessor spent in ten to run the State House.
Second fun-fact: He has done this without running the once-popular kiosk where Prezzo Uhuru Kenyatta offered Uji power to day-time guests. I understand the beverage was available for overnight guests as well, even though Prezzo UK preferred venturing out to more vibrant spaces where folk brought own beverages. He preferred Uji-power aged 18 and above.
The said Uji kiosk was dismantled when Prezzo Ruto took charge, as it was seen a defilement of the munificence of the State House. He made a similar claim about a mabati church on the State House grounds, and which is now being reconfigured into a Little Vatican. Correction, Prezzo Ruto is not Catholic. Little Whatever.
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For those who to claim that folks in Ichaweri have no use for churches, perhaps because they worship facing Mount Kenya, I hear Prezzo UK’s family have built a mini Basilica in Gatundu, on private land and using own funds.
I like it that Prezzo Ruto is building the State in his own image: he is unpretentious about his grandiose intents, even though most are delusional, about his desire to transform Kenya into a “First World.” It’s a lexicon that betrays his own ignorance about the North-South divide, but since he boasts of a PhD from a reputable institution, we should let him be.
This week, Prezzo Ruto claimed Kenya is now categorised as a “middle-income” economy due to its expansive road network. He used this strange example to explain why fuel in our country is priced differently from our immediate neighbours.
And since the oil dealers in the Middle East apparently behave like those Nyamakima brokers, who decide on prices strictly based on customers’ mode of dressing, higher oil prices are invoked when we venture into the market under so-called G2G arrangement. This means Government to Government, but it has since been revised to G2C, meaning, Government to Cartels, as no government agency is represented on the Kenyan side of things.
Still, that doesn’t explain why fuel is more expensive in Kenya than Uganda, despite the Ugandans using our network to access the commodity. If I sound obtuse, it is because I don’t get the logic here.
The more plausible explanation could be that Ugandans now have a controlling skate at the Kenya Pipeline—assuming the “usual suspects” have not morphed into Ugandans, after appearing in a previous incarnation as Tanzanians. This means they can control our oil prices and their own.
Things have gained a bit of clarity since the IMF—the International Mother & Father –warned against slicing off VAT on fuel. They said this would starve the taxman of the revenues needed to repay our rising debts, which is their primary focus as they are in the business of lending monies and earning profit.
But Prezzo Ruto is undeterred in his quest to turn this great nation into a First World economy, which is why Nairobi has quickly roused from a flood slump just a few week ago to morph into a middle-income economy. So there is no reason for not aspiring to reach First World status in 15 months.
My optimism stems from a simple premise: we just need to have Prezzo Ruto announce the realisation of this milestone from the sunroof on his SUV, while his deputy scans the skies in his chopper.
The substantial budget available to run the presidency for the two is adequate proof of the realisation that indeed, we have come of age as a First World country, even as the rest of the country stagnates.