Vulgar word that's now on everyone's lips, thanks to vaccine controversy

There are times when unusual things happen and allow words that are not considered polite to make their way into acceptable political discourse. Losing their sense of obscenity, the words acquire public norm. Such a word is kunyamba in Kiswahili or “farting” in English which is associated with President William Ruto’s depleted credibility in Kenya.

The reason for that depletion is Dr Ruto’s many poorly thought-out policies that he tries to impose on resisting Kenyans. Wondering why suffering Kenyans resist his actions as president, he concluded that pepo chafu (evil spirit) must have penetrated the country.  

Among the policies that Kenyans are resisting is the alleged plan to vaccinate cattle because they produce methane gas when they fart.

The idea of stopping cows in Africa from farting seemingly came from Bill Gates, the US-based billionaire who advocates for GMOs and funds research in many universities and research centres.

Having convinced Ruto’s government to give him immunity in Kenya, which the Kenyan courts disallowed, Gates argued that cows have better meat when they do not produce methane and also help to save the environment.

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Kenyans suspect that Gates convinced Ruto to embrace the cow farting reduction project. Ruto’s logic was that the project would increase the worldwide beef export market for Kenya.

The argument made little sense to critics who imagined a sinister motive behind the alleged anti-farting project. The urgency for the vaccination was not clear and given that cows and humans have lived together for roughly 10,000 years without conflict, the whole anti-farting project was suspicious.

Cows regularly provide humans with fresh meat and milk even as they fart and produce methane. With Ruto hardly recovering from the Adani disaster, there was alarm on his new cow improvement policy.

Cartoonists and politicians stood out in opposition to Ruto’s cow vaccination project. Cartoonists had cows demonstrating about their right to fart, 'My fart, my choice'. They also showed Kasongo, a newly minted nickname for Ruto that seemingly replaced Zakayo the tax collector, vaccinating cows.

Githunguri MP Gathoni wa Muchomba was among the first politicians to raise the alarm over the vaccine affecting the ability of cows kunyamba and probably worse.

Gathoni was dramatic in explaining the dangers inherent in cows not producing methane which rural farmers use profitably. She took her 'n'gombe kunyamba' campaign to other counties such as Nyandarua and was well received.

Her alarm was picked up by Narok Senator Ledema Ole Kina who, in a public function, told Deputy President Kithure Kindiki to tell Ruto that cows in Narok will not be vaccinated and added that he would die if he did not nyamba.

He thus did not want his cows to die because of the failing to fart. Cattle keepers in the neighbouring Kajiado County also made it clear that they wanted their cows to continue having kunyamba freedom.

The Ruto side fought back and reluctantly retreated. Kimani Ichung’wa, Gathoni’s political rival, suggested giving the anti-kunyamba vaccine to those who opposed the project because they nyamba using their mouths.

Ruto, in a goat auctioning function reminiscent of the Moi days, called critics stupid as he asserted that he and others had taken vaccines and yet they had not stopped kunyamba.

Although he appeared determined, his then Agriculture and Livestock Development CS Andrew Karanja, said the cow vaccination exercise would be voluntary, not compulsory.

Within three days of declaring cow vaccination voluntary, Dr Karanja was sent to Brazil as ambassador. Mutahi Kagwe, seemingly benefiting from the Ruto visit to Uhuru’s Ichaweri home, inherited the docket.

Will Kagwe uphold Karanja’s decision or will he trash it and force cows to take anti-kunyamba vaccine? Kunyamba has risen in political status, from source of embarrassment to one of cow rights to remain cows.