Beyond the wet sheets: One man's journey to beating bedwetting stigma

For most of us, childhood memories are filled with laughter and adventure, but for one young man, they were marked by a deeply personal battle that left a lasting scar. From vivid dreams to nights of silent prayers, he carried a burden he couldn’t share, determined to overcome a condition that shaped his early years.

Meet Dan Nixon, 21, a communication and journalism student at Kisii University, who grew up struggling with nocturnal enuresis—commonly known as bedwetting. This challenge followed him from childhood into adolescence, testing his faith and resilience. Initially, Dan believed it was a phase that all children go through. However, as the years passed, the problem persisted. It was at this point that he decided to seek help and ask what could be done.

According to Dr Mufaddal Shokat, a Consultant Physician at The Nairobi West Hospital, bedwetting, or nocturnal enuresis, is the involuntary release of urine during sleep. It is most common in children, but most outgrow it as they mature.

“Signs and symptoms that accompany bedwetting include frequent incidents during sleep, increased urgency during the day, and difficulty controlling urine flow. Other signs include daytime accidents, frequent bathroom visits, and complaints of discomfort or burning during urination, which may indicate an infection,” explains Dr Shokat.

According to the National Library of Medicine, bedwetting affects approximately 15% of five-year-old children. It is characterised by involuntary urination at least twice a week for three months in children older than five years.

Dr Shokat notes that several factors contribute to bedwetting. “Developmental delays can mean that a child’s bladder is not fully developed. Genetics also play a role—if one or both parents experienced bedwetting, their child is more likely to as well. Other causes include an insufficient level of antidiuretic hormone (ADH), which leads to excessive nighttime urine production, emotional distress, urinary tract infections, diabetes, or neurological conditions.”

Dan’s mother always assured him he had been born healthy with no complications. However, she noticed his frequent urination at a young age, which soon developed into nightly bedwetting episodes.

“I was about three years old when my mother realised something was wrong. At that age, most children stop wetting the bed, but for me, nothing changed. Bedwetting persisted and worsened over time,” Dan recalls.

“I wet the bed so frequently that I had to take my bedding outside to dry every day. By the time I was in Class Four, I was still struggling with the condition. You can imagine the shame—especially when surrounded by friends. They eventually noticed and started keeping their distance. Some even gave me cruel nicknames, which destroyed my self-esteem.”

Dan lost the confidence to interact with his peers and preferred isolation. Though he tried explaining his condition to a few friends, only a handful understood, while others used it as an opportunity to mock him.

“The psychological impact was heavy. I thought isolating myself was the only solution. My parents tried asking around for remedies, but nothing worked. We even turned to traditional methods, which only drained my parents financially without yielding results.”

“To stop bedwetting was stressful. Everyone had a different theory or solution. I tried drinking less water before bed, consuming salty water, and even urinating into a hole in the ground as advised, but nothing changed. By Class Five, the stigma was even worse. My friends abandoned me completely, and the mocking continued. Some classmates would say, ‘Huyu jamaa hukojoa kwa malazi, ananuka, atoke hapa!’ (This guy wets his bed, he stinks, he should leave!).”
Dan says the bullying was relentless, but to his relief, by Class Eight, the bedwetting finally stopped.

Dr Shokat explains that lifestyle factors can impact bedwetting. “Limiting fluid intake before bedtime, especially caffeine and alcohol, may help. Certain foods, such as spicy or citrus-based ones, can irritate the bladder. Regular bathroom visits before sleep can reduce episodes.”Although the bedwetting ceased, the psychological damage remained. Dan admits it left a permanent scar on his mental health.

“Bedwetting can significantly affect mental health, leading to shame, embarrassment, and isolation. Many individuals struggle with anxiety and low self-esteem, often avoiding sleepovers, vacations, or other social events out of fear of accidents. Chronic bedwetting can cause frustration, sadness, and feelings of inadequacy,” explains Dr Shokat.

“I still struggle with stage fright and have difficulty speaking in public. Even approaching girls is a challenge. I prefer staying alone because, during my childhood, no one supported me. Girls, in particular, mocked me the most, so now I tend to keep my distance from them,” Dan confesses.

“I have visited health facilities, but doctors assure me everything is normal and that I will be okay. Still, I feel there’s a deeper issue that needs urgent attention. However, I remain optimistic—believing that tomorrow will be better than today. If God helped me overcome bedwetting, He will help me through this too.”

Dan has a message for others struggling with the condition: “If you are experiencing bedwetting, take it positively. No one should lower your self-esteem. It’s not a disease—it’s just a temporary condition. Friends, relatives, and family should support those dealing with bedwetting to reduce stigma. Many people suffer in silence, battling this condition alone. You shouldn’t do that—come forward, seek help, and ignore negative opinions.”

Dr Shokat highlights common misconceptions about bedwetting: “Many believe it is purely behavioural or due to a lack of discipline. Adults may feel ashamed, thinking bedwetting is a sign of immaturity. Some assume it is uncommon in adults, yet it affects many individuals. There’s also a misconception that it can be controlled without professional help.”

For those struggling with long-term bedwetting, Dr Shokat advises consulting a healthcare provider. “A medical evaluation is essential. Keeping a record of fluid intake, nighttime habits, and episodes can provide useful insights. Tests can rule out infections or other medical issues. In some cases, imaging studies may be necessary to assess the urinary tract.”

According to Dr Shokat, treatment options include behavioural therapy, bladder training, and moisture alarms. Medication can also help reduce urine production or increase bladder capacity. A synthetic hormone may be prescribed to decrease nighttime urine production. Additionally, counselling can address any underlying emotional issues.

Family members and caregivers play a crucial role in supporting those with chronic bedwetting. “Offering emotional support and understanding instead of blame is vital. Creating a safe space where individuals feel comfortable discussing their struggles is crucial. Assisting with laundry or providing resources for treatment can help alleviate some of the burdens,” Dr Shokat explains.
“With appropriate treatment and intervention, many individuals can overcome bedwetting. Success depends on the underlying causes, treatment adherence, and support from family and healthcare providers. Some may see gradual improvement, while others may require more time or different approaches to achieve lasting results,” he adds.
Dan’s journey highlights the emotional toll of bedwetting and the stigma surrounding it. His experience underscores the importance of compassion and support for those dealing with the condition. By raising awareness, he hopes to encourage open conversations and ensure that no one has to suffer in silence.
If you or someone you know struggles with bedwetting, seek medical advice and support. There is no shame in the condition, and with the right interventions, a solution can be found.