Why council of elders and professional caucuses are mere goons in suits

The early campaign season has ushered in snake-oil merchants calling themselves ‘professional’ caucuses. Other times, they morph into regional associations or councils of elders. But peel back the veil, and it’s clear they’re focused on ‘eating’ from political parties and aspirants.

I’m referring to the sly lobby groups that behave like seasonal rivers. With shadowy memberships and no known physical addresses, they loudly ‘speak’ for tribes or even regions. In the era of Artificial Intelligence and in our ‘Singapore’ moment, you wonder why professionals would subscribe to, or hide their intentions behind ethnic assemblies masquerading as noble networks. Since when did professionalism become a product of narcissistic ethnicity?  

Asking for Wanjiku: How different are these prowling professional groupings and elders’ councils from our usual extremists touting power and claiming ownership of voting blocs they call ‘cousins’ just because of concocted ancestral connections? Yes, I mean the ethnic bigots who see government as a feeding trough and a ‘share’ enterprise!

Greek philosopher Plato once warned that loyalty to one’s group or tribe must never override the pursuit of truth or the wider good of society. He cautioned that allegiance rooted in selfish profiteering risks corruption of the soul, and that such greed and political impunity can consume everyone.

Today, we must ask: If the so-called big voting machines like the Luhya, Kalenjin, Luo, Kamba and Kikuyu speak through their corresponding professional groups or elders’ councils, what happens to tribes like the Teso or Elmolo who may lack ‘enough’ numbers and political muscle to mobilise behind a cause? Are they lesser voices in our democratic dispensation? Not at all. Sadly, the list of shadowy lobbies is swelling ahead of 2027. A new one has emerged, calling itself Ramogi something and claiming expertise in coalition-building. An elders’ group is opposing the proposed nuclear power project. Numerous shadowy professionals have now waded into the ODM wrangles. But if their messages are truly nationalistic, why package them on a tribal pedestal?

Meanwhile, in Nairobi, there are hushed meetings after meetings in hotels focused on 2027. Women and youth leagues, too, are scheming. One mysterious group from the lakeside, whose officials include my former university student leader who previously acted with so much conviction before greed caught up with him, claims to abhor short-term sentimental politics. But what inclusion can they really profess when their constituency is one kinfolk in a nation of 40-plus tribes?

Meanwhile, none of these groups speaks out against ‘goonism’ in rallies, places of worship and funerals. They’re goons, too, only in suits. All their officials do is to hop from one media station to another, analysing politics on the axis of tribes. Who bewitched us with this tribal fixation? Must we use the tribe so negatively? Suffice to say, when a tribe lose the moral authority to claim professionalism, even if we are true professionals.

Elders, professional caucuses, goons and their leaders, be warned. The veil has come off. The voter knows your end game. Ahead of 2027, Wanjiku must be allowed space to exercise her democratic rights. Granted, brokers and brutes are irrelevant in a society where citizens are conscious of their rights.

Even the religious community cannot purport to advise anyone on political choices. Importantly, voters must stand up and resist negative ethnic energy whose only gain is self-glorification and profiteering. To quote President William Ruto, Kenya has a shortage of stupid people, thanks the 2010 Constitution.

Enough is enough. This unfolding drama of ‘tumbocratic’ lobby groups and ethnic barons walking around town to claim political relevance must be ignored and treated as the biggest joke of the season. Mark my words. In 2026 and 2027, every political snake-oil merchant out there is doomed.

The mushrooming fickle political lobbies must do better than sitting in hotels to craft ‘eating’ strategies. If they can’t prove their relevance beyond cheerleading, then this electoral cycle will sweep them into the Indian Ocean. They will not believe the imminent tsunami.

-The writer is a communications practitioner. X:@markoloo