Riggy G readies to escort Baba to Bondo retirement in a broken wheelbarrow

Word on the street is that the former doyen of opposition, Raila Odinga, aka Baba, is retiring from active politics, beginning next month. It is not clear what prompted this drastic decision, though speculation is rife that the embarrassment of his images circulating online as he napped in China have something to do with this monumental decision.
“Baba is a statesman and he must have suffered some blushes after being trolled by young people online,” said an aide. “Those chaps are young enough to be his great grandchildren and to elicit their scorn is the sort of humiliation Baba cannot stomach.”

But what must rankle him even more are the online trolls from youths who identify collectively as Gen-Z, who have spared no effort at reminding Baba that his new-found camaraderie with Prezzo Bill Ruto was akin to dancing on the graves of youths killed by police in recent protests, and which essentially erode Baba’s years of democratising Kenya.

“The youths are right,” said a political analyst who has been monitoring political transitions in East Africa for the last three decades. “Odinga was synonymous with progressive politics in Kenya for a generation, now he’ll be remembered as an opportunistic politician who never saw a chance he did not want to exploit.
“Let’s be clear, this is no conjecture; Odinga cut deals with (Daniel arap) Moi, (Mwai) Kibaki, (Uhuru) Kenyatta and (current President) Ruto. He will rightfully be remembered as a status-quo politician.”

The news of Baba’s impending retirement was greeted with jubilation in Karatina, the bastion of Deputy Prezzo Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G, who has been pushing for Baba’s retirement for an eon. Riggy G was not immediately available for comment, though he was spotted walking on a beachfront in Mombasa, perhaps as part of celebration.
“We suspect Riggy G will head back to the mountain for meditation and thanksgiving,” revealed an MP allied with the DP. “He has prayed and fasted for such an outcome.” He went on: “Riggy G has been dreaming of escorting Baba to Bondo, into retirement, in a wheelbarrow. Now that the barrow is somewhat broken, following infighting within UDA, he will limp there.”

That vision of Baba’s return to Bondo seems a little premature, as his associates clarify he’s retiring from party politics to serve full-time as a “State project.” This means should his mission to Addis Ababa as African Union chair flounder, he will be given a soft-landing and offered a soft but influential role in government.
“It is widely recognised that Odinga gets restless when he’s away from the inner sanctum of State power,” said an academic who has written a biography on Odinga. “And when he gets restless, he takes to the streets. They will spare no effort to keep him off the streets and ensure he’s garlanded by outriders and chase cars and bodyguards. No doubt, they will roll out the red carpet for him.”

From the foregoing, is the idea of retirement misplaced, if the man will continue to participate national and regional politics? “It’s a misnomer to use Odinga and retirement in the same sentence,” said the political scientist. “It’s a tactical retreat, as he evaluates the best pathway to salvage his own legacy in the aftermath of Gen-Z led protests. He is seeking to regain his step in a time of unprecedented uncertainty.”

The don concluded: “I think the proverb, ‘mtaka vyote hukosa vyote’ was especially invented for Odinga. He wants to eat his cake and eat it. He wants to serve as in the Opposition and still be part of government; he wants to retire, while still being active in politics. If the Addis mission fails, to use the lingo preferred by the youth, atajua hajui!”