From salacious rumours to wing ears, a moment of reckoning for our nation
Peter Kimani
By
Peter Kimani
| Mar 20, 2026
Let me start where I should end: Finally, the naked truth is out there. Like most Kenyans, I have no reason to doubt what Prezzo Bill Ruto told the nation about his erstwhile deputy, Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G. The two know each other in ways we shall never get to, so if one calls the other a thief or a murderer, we better believe them.
But I am rushing the story, jumping into conclusions as though, to borrow a favourite line of Riggy G’s, we’re pedalling away on a stolen bicycle. For those who might be unfamiliar with the idiom, it means taking instant flight at supersonic speed, and the only way to get a black Mamba moving is to apply all your ugali power on the pedal.
The ugali metaphor is also appropriate: Riggy G claimed Prezzo Ruto needs a bit of ugali because despite his too much “eating” of public entities like parastatals and what-have-you, he’s become so famished the only distinctive feature on his face are his ears, now flapping in the wind like wings!
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Now, that’s a huge disservice to Riggy G’s evocative storytelling. His eyes tend to glint, then dim, before baring his fangs as his hands curl around the lobes to illustrate how Prezzo Ruto’s ears are pulling away from his body, supposedly to pick vibrations of the next “eating” frontier.
That did get under Prezzo Ruto’s skin and I bet it would, especially if he’s not been sleeping well as Riggy G claimed, and he was assuring him that he wouldn’t let him take a wink for the next 15 months. That would get one cranky.
So Prezzo Ruto returned the favour, in the same vein as Riggy G’s that, incidentally, featured food and sleep. Prezzo Ruto said he wanted to offer presidential advice—now that his many advisors are back to work, even after they were declared unconstitutional—and lambasted those who’ve been eating too much ugali so their bellies were “pouring out.”
Prezzo Ruto did not suggest a tummy tuck, which would possibly be available at the Nairobi Hospital that Riggy G claims he’s angling to “eat,” but the gym. For good measure, he added, excess weight is best left on the plate. It might seem churlish that such details were being offered to many Kenyans who cannot afford a meal for their families.
But what “killed” it is the salacious claim that Riggy G, despite his extended girth and recent hospitalisation during his impeachment, he was operating at full throttle. In fact, he had so much energy, he had resorted to bedding lasses young enough to be his daughters and “killing” them.
I suppose the killing referenced here is metaphorical, especially since it was unclear if it’s the lasses or their offspring that Riggy G was guilty of “killing.”
Put simply, both men accused each other of unbridled greed—one directed at the groin, the other stuffing their belly with public resources and retaining an insatiable appetite for more. This unprecedented war of words wasn’t unpresidential; it refines our clarity of vision as a nation.
In the midst of national crises, from ravages of floods that have washed away lives and livelihoods, from drought to broken infrastructure, what keeps the two men up at night—one leading the nation and other mobilising the opposition to form the next government—has nothing to do with you and I.
Rather than despair about the appalling conduct of the two men, I am quite pleased that Kenyans can see for themselves the naked truth about the men they put in office three years ago. Indeed, this is a defining moment; it clarifies when the decay and decadence of our nationhood started, and when it will end.