Kenyans can't stay calm now that Riggy G is back, yet they didn't miss him

I wanted to write about Prezzo Bill Ruto’s seemingly courageous expose of Parliament as a den of thieves where the honourable members offer their votes to the highest bidder, but I recoiled at the derision with which Kenyans responded to the announcement.

Yes, I get it that Kenyans are sceptical just about everything that Prezzo Ruto does or says, particularly what he says, because he says more than he does. But I didn’t think the chorus of disapproval would hit a deafening crescendo.

And this was without the megaphone from Prezzo Ruto’s erstwhile Deputy, Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G chanting his wantam soundbite until his voice grates on the ears.

So, on Thursday, on the day of Riggy G’s return, I expected the authorities to dispatch men bearing boots and baton, not to listen to the ground, as Riggy G advocates, but to ensure he would not stand still, even from the top his car and use his megaphone to chant wantam or even dare Interior Security Cabinet Secretary Kipchumba Murkomen to arrest him.

I understand Murkomen is modelling himself as the “new Michuki,” the departed former minister whose other name was “Kimeendero,” the crusher. But there can only be one Kimeendero, who had a penchant for wearing torn socks, despite his immense wealth.

Anyhow, I didn’t take Murkomen’s edict very seriously, the bit about lifting Riggy G juu juu, as police officers are wont to and make curt responses like “utasemea mbele” when one protests their innocence.

But what moved me, pleasantly, I must admit, was Murkomen’s decision to deploy a chopper that hovered around JKIA all morning at Riggy G’s appointed hour of arrival. Let’s give the devil his due; this is evidence of great political maturity. By sending a chopper to dance in the sky, instead of traditional dancers, to welcome Riggy G, was the sort of accommodation that Prezzo Ruto has been preaching in recent weeks. It was refreshing to see that put into practice.

I think the authorities should have gone further and inscribed a caption, the sort that flutters in the wind, declaring: Welcome back, Riggy G, though we didn’t miss you! That is the sort of banter that would disarm Riggy G, whose wantam soundbites are almost always accompanied by epithets that cannot be printed in a respectable platform as this one.

But what moved me beyond words was the sight of riot police officers at JKIA’s international arrivals’ terminal, in proper uniform and no concealed faces! Truth be told, this was transformational for a force generally regarded as rogue by Kenyans.

Neither did we see goons on wheels, who are unleashed to rob from regular citizens, as police watch by, and intimidate them from the streets. This says much about those who unleash goons on their opponents than the people they brutalise. Riggy G simply breezed into the city unhindered, bedecked in a Stetson hat and demin, grinning from ear to ear. I believe it is this good cheer that prevented him from issuing the aforementioned epithets that fire his base, or chant wantam.

Such gentleness is akin to killing your adversary softly. I have a sense that should this sort of treatment persist, Riggy G’s building momentum would dissipate and he would quietly retreat to Wamunyoro village incognito.

As for Prezzo and his new-found anti-graft campaign, he would do well to explain his new diet of consuming raw intelligence. Who ordered it and why? For how long is the diet prescribed?

If no answers are forthcoming, Kenyans have every right to question him, because his decree raises more questions than answers.

After all, as Riggy G has been saying for nearly a year now, folks in Parliament were bribed to impeach him. And if Prezzo Ruto didn’t know about this, despite his consumption of raw intelligence, he is undermining Kenyans collective intelligence, hence their derisive laughter.