Family's struggles after girl's nude photos were leaked

On one evening in July last year, 24-year-old Lisa Waithera, sat in her bedroom, scrolling through her phone, oblivious to the storm about to hit her life.

 Waithera tells the Standard that she received a message from a friend containing a telegram link, upon clicking it, her heart stopped. There they were, her private photos, splashed across social media.

 The images, she says, had been taken in confidence, meant for someone she trusted. But now, they were out there in public, accompanied by crude comments, lewd jokes, and endless speculation.

 “I felt like my world had ended. My hands were shaking. I kept thinking, on how it happened and who did it to me. I stared at the images in disbelief. Within minutes, my phone was flooded with messages, some from concerned friends, others from strangers mocking me,” says Waithera.

 The leak was not just an attack on Waithera; it was an attack on her entire family. At first, she says, she wished no one in the family would know on what had just happened, describing it as embarrassing.

 But unknown to Waithera, her father, Paul Mwangi, had already seen what was going on, with the naked photos of the daughter being shared in WhatsApp groups.

 Mwangi, a respected church elder, who runs boutique business as well, was informed by a close family friend, about his daughter’s photos, he dismissed them as rumors.

 “I was in my business as usual when a close friend reached out explaining to me what was going on, and that my daughter was now a discussion in a WhatsApp group. Her inappropriate photos had been shared via a telegram link,” said Mwangi.

 On getting home that evening, Mwangi confronted his daughter. The conversation quickly turned into an emotional battlefield.

 “He asked me why I had shamed the family. He accused me of ruining his reputation and the dignity of the family,” Waithera says.

 Her mother, Grace Nyambura, was equally devastated but handled it differently. “I cried for days. Not just for Waithera, but for our entire family. The shame, the humiliation, was unbearable. People we had known for years suddenly looked at us differently. It was a tough time for the all family, an embarrassment,” she says.

 The younger brother to Waithera, Kevin, a 17-year-old high school student, says the least he ever expected, with the friends mocking him, and saying terrible things about the sister.

 Waithera says she found herself trapped in a cycle of despair. “I stopped eating. I stopped going outside. My phone became my worst enemy, I completely kept off from the internet, because every time I logged in, there was a new insult, a new way for people to humiliate me. I thought of ending my life more times than I can count,” says Waithera.

 Ivy Chebet, a psychologist, explains that cases like that of Waithera are becoming more common.

 “When someone intimate photos are leaked; the psychological impact is immense. The victim experiences extreme guilt, shame, anxiety, and in severe cases, suicidal thoughts. But what many forget is that the family also suffers. They face social stigma, emotional distress, and even financial struggles as they try to support their loved one,” says Chebet.

 According to Lourdes Walusala, a digital rights activist, cases of online gender-based violence (OGBV), particularly the non-consensual sharing of intimate images, rarely result in legal action.

 “The biggest problem is victim-blaming. Instead of focusing on the perpetrator who leaked the images, society often asks why the victim took the photos in the first place. This silences many survivors and allows the perpetrators to go unpunished,” says Walusala.

 Mwangi, once consumed by anger and shame, now stands by his daughter’s side, offering parental support for her recovery.

 “Not to justify what she did in the first place, but as a father, I realised that she was not the one who shamed us. The person who leaked those images is the real criminal. As a parent, my duty is to protect her, and offer necessary support, not judge her,” says Mwangi.

 “The experience changed us. But if there is one thing we have learned, it is that shame only has power if we let it. And we refuse to be ashamed anymore,” says Nyambura.

 According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine, it notes the severe mental health and social consequences of the non-consensual sharing of sexual images (NCSSI), particularly among young individuals.

 “In the past decade, the sending and sharing of sexual images among youth has become normalized. An associated risk of sharing sexual images is the images being nonconsensually shared among peers or uploaded online,” it notes.

 The study, which analyzed 13 articles from a pool of over 4,000, found that victims of leaked intimate images experience heightened levels of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

 It states that NCSSI not only affects the victim but also their families, who often face social stigma and emotional distress. Many victims reported being bullied, harassed, and blamed for the incident, leading to isolation and severe emotional suffering.

 The study also found that victims self-esteem and sense of personal security were significantly impacted, making recovery difficult.

 “There exists a sexual double standard with the social impact of NCSSI; girls are more pressured to send nude images yet once the image is sent and shared, blame is more so directed to girls, even if that image gets shared or shown nonconsensually. The placement of blame and subsequent shaming and name-calling that girls receive makes it more difficult for girls to discuss their experiences, creating a silence and fear of discussing it with someone trusted,” the study notes.